Retrouvaille means Rediscovery (of one’s Marriage.) In relation to marital life, we look at it as a way of recapturing our married life if it starts waning or becomes a routine.
History of Retrouvaille
Retrouvaille began in 1977 as a French language weekend for hurting marriages in the province of Quebec, Canada.
It was adapted to English by the community in Toronto, who also revised and strengthened the contents of the weekend and developed the post-weekend programs.
From 1982, Retrouvaille has spread through the U.S.A., South America and from 1991 to many other countries around the world.
Retrouvaille started in India – Bangalore in January 2011 and we now have presence in Mumbai, Goa and Chennai.
What is Retrouvaille
Retrouvaille is a 3 phase programme that:
- Starts with a weekend (Friday 7 pm – Sunday 5 pm)
- Followed by 12 Post Weekend Sessions providing support and tools to couples on concepts of the importance of effective communication, intimacy, conflict resolution, Personality Styles, Forgiveness & Trust and other topics.
- After which a support group will help continue the Retrouvaille Experience – CORE allows for small group meetings to continue and reinforce the communication tools learned at the weekend and post sessions as couples continue to heal their marriages.
Who can attend the Programme
Basically, if you find your marriage in any of the following situations:
- Constantly arguing or fighting
- Leading married singles lifestyle – feeling cold, alone or distant from your spouse
- Have given up on talking it out
- Frustrated, hurt or angry with each other
- Stuck in a situation where you don’t know how to change or where to turn
- Thinking about separation or divorce
- Priests, Nuns and Religious: to help spread the ministry when they counsel couples
What the programme is?
- The Retrouvaille Program is for Married Couples Facing Difficult Challenges in their Relationship
- A Marriage program that helps couples restore their marriage and rebuild a loving relationship.
- A Christian marriage program, Catholic in origin, where couples of all faiths are encouraged to attend.
- A practical program to improve communication, build stronger marriages, and help couples reconnect.
- Presenters are not trained marriage counselors, but rather couples sharing their personal stories of marital struggles and the tools they used to rediscover their love.
What Retrouvaille is not
- It is NOT a Retreat, Seminar, Social Gathering, or Religious Conversion Experience
- It is not a vacation weekend for the couple, but rather a program to help your marriage get back to where it was meant to be
- It is NOT Marriage Counseling
- There are no marriage counselors in the program. This is a peer ministry, presented by three married couples and a priest. The team couples are volunteers, who have experienced disillusionment, pain, anger, and conflict in their own marriages.
- It is NOT Group Counseling
- While there are other couples in the program, it is by no means group counseling.
A Perfect Marriage is two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other.
Every Marriage goes through 4 stages
Romance – we focus on the other person
Disillusionment – we get upset by the traits or behavior of our spouse and begin to focus on ourselves
Misery – we focus entirely on ourselves and, we believe that our spouse is the cause of our pain
Awakening – we focus on ‘us’ as a couple & experience unity again.
These stages recur unless we get stuck in Misery.
Why do problems occur in Marriages?
- When both spouses have different needs at the same time
- When there is a communication break down
- When unrealistic expectations are brought into a marriage
- When focus shifts from the other person to a more self-centered lifestyle
Married Single’s Lifestyle
- We spouses start thinking more of own interests than our life partner
- Think we are happier pursuing individual goals
- Are not anxious to do things together or spend time together
- We develop habits like finding recreation with individual group of friends, workaholism, joining individual clubs, associations, etc.
Problems are inevitable
- Some problems can be anticipated Some come as surprises
- They get us headed in a direction superior to the one we may otherwise have taken
- BUT the idea that problems occur regularly need not be a surprise
- THE GOOD NEWS IS THERE IS A SOLUTION.
Problems are meant to be solved.
BUT some of us spend more time reacting to the fact that we have a problem THAN we do solving the problem.
- “Why is this happening to me?”
- “Isn’t Life Awful?”
- “How come this had to happen?”
- “Oh God!!! This is terrible!!!”
- Why is God picking on me?”
Asking for Help
Asking for help and support when a marriage is in serious trouble can be a difficult task.
Couples may not know where to turn
Asking for help is a sign of STRENGTH not Weakness.
The Retrouvaille programme is an advocate of marriage counselling.
Is asking for help a bad thing?
In the beatitudes Christ mentions – Blessed are those who mourn for they shall be comforted, Blessed are the meek for they shall inherit the land, Blessed are the peacemakers for theirs is the kingdom of God.
Peter, throughout the ministry of Jesus never hesitated to ask for help.
David all through the psalms sought counsel and turned to God for help. David himself was anointed by Samuel. Jesus was baptized by John.
All God’s prophets in the old testament were used as instruments to help God’s chosen people.
Jesus himself said Ask and you shall receive.
We believe that every marriage, a union of one man and one woman, deserves the opportunity to survive, be healed and thrive as a covenant of life and love. Retrouvaille is the place where we, as hurting couples, found hope and so we are passionately committed to dramatically increasing the number of couples served in both new and existing communities worldwide.
Retrouvaille is an International community of disciples committed to the continued healing of their marriages and, empowered by the Holy Spirit, sharing their stories, talents and gifts to promote and spread the healing ministry of Retrouvaille.
- The primary goal is to provide help for couples who live in the disappointment and pain of marriage problems.
- Provide a safe setting during the weekend encouraging couples to learn communication in marriage in a respectful manner.
- Provide support as couples discuss concepts of the importance of effective communication, intimacy, conflict resolution, Personality Styles, Forgiveness & Trust and other topics during the post-weekend sessions.
- Retrouvaille is a program that is solely dedicated to providing the necessary support to help save marriages.
- Registered as a community under Retrouvaille International in Nov 2010
- Retrouvaille Regional Team – S & NE India
- Joe & Regina – Regional Coordinators (9902515984/9845182373)
- Arul Raj Gali CSC – Regional Chaplin (9900517523)
- Retrouvaille Bangalore Team
- Kavitha & Charles – Coordinators (9632277224/8861836444)
- Francis SJ – Chaplain (9449695139)
- Tessy & Biju – Finance (9900306251/9880022553)
- Leema & Madan – Secretary (9880727003/9880618025)
- Email: firstname.lastname@example.org
- Website: www.helpourmarriage.in